Never Should've Told You
by Gidget2
Summary: okay so i fixed it up! it's a sora/ken fic, real good :) so read it!
1. Default Chapter

Be With You   
~~ A Sora and Ken fic~~  
  
A/N: ya ya i know....Sora and Ken? well, i was sitting at home and i felt kinda sick and i was watching digimon and i  
figured since they put Sora with Matt.....i am appauled she wasn't with Tai....*i would like to know who concocted THAT bit of bastardization ...peesh..Matt and Sora?* Anyways i figured...why not Sora and Ken? And while we're on the subject, was it like....time to give the digidestined the most unlikely job possible? i mean, Jyou turns out to be a doctor, but didn't he say he didn't want to be one? and  
Matt....an...astronaut? ya ok and that's likely...and Tai? an ambassador? Where did the brains come from? Ken is a detective/superhero? oh god. and Daisuke's job is just ridiculous. a travelling noodleman? Come on....as if Yolei would sit at home with three kids and not do anything!!! Kari as a schoolteacher... i can see that one more than the others...WHAT HAPPENED TO MATT AND TAI AND T.K.'S PRETTY FACES???? THEIR LOOKS JUST....PLUMMETED! did i mention that Tai's hair  
looks DUMB AS HELL??  
*end of rant*  
anyways, this fic is about Sora and Ken. Ken and Sora have never met. there has been no digiworld. they are the same age. Sora is a dancer with Kari. NOT A FASHION DESIGNER. Ken is a writer/artist/dancer. he is a struggling boy, still trying to figure out who he really is kinda thing. Matt and T.K. are not related and oh, T.K, and Yolei are dancers too and Matt and Mimi are together, Tai and Sora are friends, and everyone knows everyone, 'cept for Ken and T.K. and Yolei ^.^  
so....yeah...and just...read and review!!! They're all 24....'cept for Kari....she's 23... oh, and btw, just incase someone tries to sue, i don't own digimon or the characters or the songs i used in this fic or else i  
wouldn't write the fic coz i would be so damn rich......heheh  
  
Ballet TERMS: Jetees : a split jump ___0___  
pas de deux: boy/girl dancing in ballet  
layback: jump in the air and whip your head back and kick high in the air.  
barre: the bar at the side that you warm up with, stretch, work with etc.  
  
  
  
Chapter numero uno   
  
.-*~ Should've Never Told You~*-.  
  
"OK and 1,2,3 good Kari! Sora, I need you to turn out more! Come on girls get it together!!" Madame Marisha cried, clapping her hands and walking around the class.   
  
Sora cried out in frustration and Kari leaped happily in the air, her long graceful legs stretching out perfectly in a jetees. Sora groaned and followed, with a full layback.   
  
"Sora, if you hate ballet so much, why do you take it?" Kari whispered after class as they were cooling off at the barre.   
  
"'Coz my musical theatre teacher thought it would help me. As if I need it! I am a good student in her musical theatre dance class." Sora said haughtily, throwing her head back.  
  
Kari shook her head and laughed. "My brother would beat you for that. He hates it when you get all cocky like that!"Sora laughed good-naturedly.   
  
"Do I suck in this class? Be honest," Sora asked, facing Kari.  
  
Kari sighed and stood up. "Honestly? Well, your turnout needs work, and your technique is a little behind, but otherwise you're fine. No you don't suck, you just need to work on it."   
  
Sora nodded and the two walked into the changeroom. "Hey Kari, what are you up to tonight?"   
Kari shrugged, and shook her head. "Nothing, why do you ask?"   
  
Sora pulled off her pointe shoes and massaged her toes. "Oh, because Tai, Mimi, Matt, Yolei, Izzy and myself are going to a nightclub tonight. You could come if you want. And you can bring Davis."   
  
Kari smiled and slipped out of her pointe shoes and put on a pair of red shorts. "Sure! Sounds great! When are we going?"   
  
Sora shrugged and put on a short turquoise pair of hawaiian shorts and a white tank top. "Um, I'm going around 11:00, so if you want to drop by and we can get ready, I can give you a ride."   
  
Kari nodded and put on a yellow tank top. Sora pulled her hair into a ponytail and put on a baseball cap. Kari put on a visor and put her hair into a bun.   
  
"Alright, I'll come by around 10:00, 10:30 alright?" Kari looked over for an okay on the situation. Sora nodded and they walked out of the building, as someone walked in, bumping into Sora hard.   
  
"Ow! Watch where you're walking!" Sora rubbed her shoulder as the person turned around.   
  
His icy blue eyes pierced into hers. "Sorry, are you alright?" Sora nodded and turned quickly, walking into the parking lot with Kari quickly.   
  
"Wow! Sora that guy was HOT! And you were completely rude to him!" Sora laughed and shook her head.   
  
"Well, he should have watched where he was going. Are we starting pas de deux classes tomorrow?" Kari nodded, then burst out laughing. "What if he was signing up for a pas de deux partner and he turns out to be yours!?!? HA HA HA!!!"   
  
Sora unlocked her car door and got in, starting the car. "Hey! I was just joking around Sora! Open the door! I need a ride!"   
  
Sora opened the door and Kari hopped in, turning the radio on full blast. The two sped out of the parking lot and towards Kari's house. "Alright Kari! See ya tonight!" Kari waved and ran into her house.  
  
"Hi Snuffers!! Awww, didn't Mimi or Tai drop in to feed you? Awwww! Come here baby!" Sora cooed as she walked into her apartment and her cat jumped off of her couch. Sora sighed and walked into the kitchen, opening a can of cat food. She put it in a small dish and placed it on the floor. Flopping down in the livingroom, Sora opened a magazine and flicked on her television. She laid there for a while, then thought of the guy she had bumped into. Kari was righ, he was hot from what she could remember. His eyes were the thing she could remember the most. Ice blue eyes, that burned into her own. She fell asleep for a while, and was awaken by the telephone.   
  
"Hello?" Sora mumbled groggily.  
  
"Sora? This is Madame Marisha. Could you come down the studio for say, an hour or so? I want to help you get a head start on your pas de deux classes and I have your partner here."   
  
Sora sat up and rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. It was only 8:00.   
  
"Um, sure that's fine."   
"Great. See you soon."  
Sora hung up the phone and yawned. She got up, then stopped cold.   
"Oh gosh, he's my partner........oh gosh......oh no!! I was so rude!  
He'll drop me purposely!"   
  
She went into her room and grabbed her best black leotard, pink tights and her pointe shoes. Locking her door, Sora ran down the stairs and out the door to the parking lot. She drove to the studio and ran in  
quickly. She went into the changeroom and changed quickly, pulling her hair back tightly into a bun. She put on her shoes and ran out into the studio. Sure enough, the guy she had bumped into was there, at the barre stretching. Madame Marisha ran forward quickly, grabbing her hands and leading her over to him.   
  
"Sora! This is your pas de deux partner, Ken Ichijyoji. Ken, this is Sora Takenouchi." Madame MArisha said, flourishing wildly.  
  
Ken held out his hand and Sora shook it quickly. "Well, I'll start the music and you two can limber up." Sora began to stretch and then faced Ken.   
  
"Sorry about earlier, I was REALLY rude. I was just stressed because I suck at ballet." Ken didn't say anything and continued stretching.   
'Wow, Mr. Personality,' Sora thought to herself.   
  
They continued warming up and then Madame Marisha clapped her hands together. "OK great. Now, we'll do some jetees and such ok?" Sora and Ken nodded, looking at one another. "Sora, you begin!" Sora nodded and  
began doing the routine that she and Kari learned today.  
  
Ken stared as Sora gracefully did a pirouette and jetee'd. She was very good looking, and seemed nice enough. Her red gold fiery hair flamed around her face as her hair came out of the bun it was in and tumbled down her back. He felt bad for being cold, but what could he say? Her darkly fringed eyes filled with such emotion as she danced, her hands, like two birds attached to her wrists, trying to break free. He knew that he had blown things with her already, and yet, he knew she was too good for him. She finished and walked over, breathing heavily.   
  
"Well, that was fun! Your turn!" Ken walked out, once again, no emotion on his face. Sora sighed frustratedly and worked on her turnout at the barre as Ken danced.  
  
  
And boy, could he dance! Sora stopped and watched as he flew around the room. His long, lean body tightly wrapped in his dance clothes was pure muscle. He had jet black hair that went about two inches below his ears, and had blue throughout it, and oh, those eyes! Maybe he had minus one on the personality chart, but his looks certainly were high!  
Madame Marisha clapped again and Ken walked over to the barre and leaned lazily on it.   
  
"Ok, now, Sora, I want you to do a double pirouette, then jetee into Ken, putting one hand behind you and one around his neck. Ken, while she's pirouette-ing, I want you to do a barrel roll into the middle."   
Madame Marisha began the music and then clapped. Sora stepped quickly and pirouette'd, then ran to Ken and jetee'd, wrapping one leg onto the side of his him and stretching the other one out behind her. Her face was one millimeter away from his. They stared at one another, breathless. Madame Marisha clapped her hands and then squealed happily.   
"You two will set the floor on fire! Good enough for beginning. Go cool off." She threw Sora a key. "Madame has to leave. You lock up. Good bye my two little dance stars."   
  
Sora smiled and waved as Madame left. "Ok, no more of this," mumbled Sora, turning off the record of classical music. She went over to the C.D. player and put on Jennifer Lopez, "Feelin' so good."   
  
She turned to Ken and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, don't get me wrong, I love classical music, but I had to listen to it for four hours today. It gets a little tiring." Ken looked at her and turned before she could see a small smile on his face.   
  
"Oh my gosh! Was that a smile? Was it?" Sora pretended to drop dead on the floor. Ken stood up and walked over to her, and nudged her side with his foot. She giggled and rolled over.   
  
"Hey, do you know how to mambo?" Ken nodded. Sora got up and changed the song to "let's get loud". Ken grinned and Sora laughed and danced over to him, up on her toes and mamboing. Ken held out his hand and she took it. He spun her into him and they mamboed. Sora turned out and then danced forward and backward, Ken leaning forwards when she  
was backwards and vice versa. He went down then back up, running his hands up her sides. She spun out and then in again and then out again and then in and Ken dipped her. They stopped and stared at one another.   
"Oh MY GOSH !!! What time is it?" Sora squeaked loudly.  
  
Ken lifted her up and she looked at the clock on the wall. It was 10:15! "Oh gosh Ken I'm sorry! I really have to go! I'm going to a club tonight! And Kari will be at my house soon and it's locked and  
she....has a spare key...nevermind. But I should go."   
  
Ken nodded and they ran into their changerooms. Sora threw on her shorts and tank top, pulling her hair under the hat again. She grabbed her bag and threw her ballet clothes in. She got out before Ken and waited, turning off the lights in the studio. Ken came out a few minutes later, his hair wet from a shower and wearing a pair of jeans and a polo shirt.   
  
"Well, it's about time mister!" Ken smiled apologetically and walked out with Sora. She locked up the doors and walked out to the parking lot. "Hey, do you need a ride anywhere?"   
  
Ken shrugged, then looked at her. "Hey, well, umm, what are you doing tonight?" Ken shook his head. "Nothing actually. Why?" Sora unlocked her car door and stood looking over the car at him.   
  
"Well, myself and a few friends are going to a club, and I was wondering if maybe you wanted to join us. My friends are really nice," Sora smiled and Ken nodded.  
  
"Sure, that sounds great. Um, can we stop at my house then so I can change?" Sora nodded and they hopped into her car. "You're a very good dancer, where did you train before?" Sora asked, as they drove to his apartment. "Well, I trained in China, Germany and United States for most of my life."   
  
Sora whistled lowly. "Wow, I wish I could say that. Are you new here? Like, did you just move here?"   
  
Ken nodded and sighed, staring out the window. Sora dropped the subject and parked in front of an apartment building.   
  
"Ok, I'll just wait here ok?" Ken nodded and jumped out, walking into the building. Sora picked up her carphone and called her apartment.   
"Hello?" Kari answered.   
  
"Kari, it's me. I take it you found your extra key?" Sora smiled as Kari yelled something at Davis and Tai.   
  
"Yep! Hey, where are you? You tell me I'm always late!!!" Sora shook her head and sighed.   
  
"Ok, here's what happened. Madame Marisha called me in to help me get a head start on the pas de deux classes right? And guess who my partner is?" But before Sora could finish, Kari burst out laughing.  
  
" AH AHHHHA HA!! That GUY! Wow....I knew it!!!" Kari squealed loudly into the phone.   
  
Sora laughed loudly and nodded into the phone. "Yeah! And you should see this guy dance! Geez, I don't know why she didn't put YOU with this guy! Anywaus so we danced and then Madame had to leave so we were just like, goofing around and dancing to the music and then I invited him to come tonight. He just moved here from America, and he doesn't know anybody."   
  
Kari laughed excitedly on the other line. "Well, hurry up and get here!"   
  
Sora hung up the phone just as Ken came out of the building. He jumped into the car, as Sora oogled over him. He was wearing a pair of slacks and a black shirt that had a v-neck down to the middle of his chest. His hair was down, and he smiled at her.   
  
"I think you have to put the car in drive to make it move Sora." Sora blushed and accelerated to her apartment.  
  
"Whoa, it's about time! Hey, who's that?" Tai said loudly, looking over Sora's shoulder to Ken.   
  
"This is Ken Ichijyoji. He is my pas de deux partner, and he just moved here from America. Ken, this is Tai Yagami, my best friend, Kari Yagami, his sister, and Davis, Kari's best friend."   
  
Kari jumped on Sora at that comment. "Well, I'll be right back guys. Uh, Ken go ahead and get a drink or whatever if you want. Tai will show you where everything is."   
  
Sora ran into her room to get a towel.   
  
"Ahhh.....the water is my friend...," Sora mumbled to herself as she stepped into the shower.   
  
She washed her hair and then stepped out, drying herself off. She slipped a towel around herself and walked into her room. She put on  
undergaments and walked around her room, drying her hair. It fell to the middle of her back, in long, soft waves. She put on a pair of black pants and a light purple halter top that had sparkles sparatically placed around it. She put on some makeup and pulled her hair into a ponytail on top of her head.   
  
"Ok, I'm ready to go!" Sora shouted as she walked out, grabbing a light coat and her car keys.   
  
Tai whistled and clapped. "OW! HOT STUFF!" he shouted as Sora shot him awarning glance.   
  
"Shut it Yagami. Let's go guys," she smiled at Ken who was in conversation with Davis. They all got up and left.   
  
"Hey guys!! What took you so long? Who's this new face?" Mimi Tachikawa smiled widely at Ken and then giggled as Matt came up behind her.   
  
"Mims, Matt, this is Ken Ichijyoji. Ken, this is Mimi Tachikawa and Yamato Ishida." Ken leaned forward and shook their hands. The group went and sat down at a table.   
  
Mimi, Kari and Sora sat on the top of the seats of the booth and danced around. Ken smiled up at Sora and she laughed. Mimi grabbed Matt and jumped down, pulling him onto the dance floor. Kari dragged Davis away and onto the floor by Mimi. A blonde boy waved in their direction and  
Ken waved back. "Who's that Ken? Do you know him?" Sora questioned as the boy came over, and hugged Ken.   
  
"Oh yeah, this is T.K. Takaishi! We danced at the same company in United States and in Germany! What are you doing here?" Ken laughed at T.K.   
  
"Oh, I have to do some...pas de deux thing at Madame Marisha's. With a girl....I saw her picture...she's hot. Her name is Kari Yagami. Who's this little hottie?" T.K. asked, gesturing to Sora.   
  
Sora laughed at his bluntness. "I'm Sora Takenouchi. I'm Ken's pas de deux partner. And Kari is my best friend. She's on the dance floor right now." T.K shook her hand and laughed.   
  
"Well, here she comes. She's even hotter in person! Whoa....that brunnette is pretty hot too! Ken! I'm starting to hang with you more often!" Sora and Ken laughed loudly.   
  
"Hey! T.K.! Over here!!" A small girl with long purple hair came running over. She had in bright green color contacts and wore a red halter top with dark blue pants.   
  
"Oh! Hey Yolei!" Ken laughed again and so did T.K. "This is my old pas de deux partner, Yolei. Yolei, this is Ken, Sora, blah, blah, blah, blah and Kari!" Sora laughed and introduced everyone to everyone.   
  
Yolei immediately took a liking to Tai and sat down next to him. He grinned and talked to her, and then they got up and went ont othe dance floor, when a loud, mambo song came on. Kari and T.K. were talking, and he convinced her to go dance with him, and Sora smiled at Ken. They watched the two couples for a while, then Ken grabbed Sora's hand.  
  
"Come, let's show them how it's done!" Sora jumped up and they ran out to the dance floor. They stood apart from one another, then Ken grabbed Sora's hand and spun her against him. He then pulled her against him roughly and they danced. Kari and T.K. saw their competition and started dancing even faster. Tai and Yolei also saw and began to dance  
more racier. Ken ran his hands up and down Sora's sides. She spun out and Ken went on the floor and Sora stood in front of him and walked backwards as he walked towards her on his knees. He put his hands on her back and slid them down, grabbing her.   
  
Sora laughed loudly and he got up. She spun around and then Ken pulled her against him. They grinded their hips against one another's. Their faces inches apart, Ken smiled at Sora and licked his lips. Sora was  
breathing heavily, and she had a sweat across her browline. The song ended and they clapped loudly. A slow song came on and T.K. whipped Kari into his arms, dancing slowly with her. Ken held out a hand and Sora took it, and he spun her to him, and they danced slowly. Tai and Yolei danced slowly. All of a sudden, Sora was whipped into Tai's arms and Yolei into Ken's. Sora laughed and danced with Tai. Tai, her best friend, laughed with her.   
  
"I like that Yolei girl. She's got spunk, like you." Sora laughed and put her head on his shoulder and looked over at Ken. He was looking at her! They stared at one another, unspoken emotions running through them.   
  
"It's too soon Sora. You just like him coz he can dance. Don't jump him yet." Tai cautioned Sora.   
  
"Ken, too soon. Stop this before it starts." Yolei tried to tell Ken, but the more he looked at Sora, the more he liked her. She was a good dancer, and had a good personality.   
  
All of a sudden, Sora was in T.K.'s arms and Kari was in Ken's and Yolei was back in Tai's. T.K. liked Kari, and made it obvious. And Kari  
liked him too, Sora could tell by the way she was looking at him.   
  
And then Sora was back in Ken's arms, hanging tightly to him. His arms tightened around her waist, and he ran them up and down her back. She put her cheek next to his and ran her hands through his hair. Ever so slowly, Sora looked up at Ken and Ken ran a hand down her face. She leaned forwards and Ken tipped her face and kissed her slowly. Then she  
pulled away quickly, looking downwards.   
  
"What is it Sora? Did I do something wrong?" Ken's worried voice cut through her thoughts.   
  
"It's too soon Ken. I got caught up in the moment. This was a mistake."  
  
Her voice echoed through his mind. Mistake? He felt himself grow angry, and he pushed her away from him. Sora looked up at him in confusion.   
  
"Mistake? Thanks a lot Sora. From now on, we'll keep it strictly business. I wouldn't want to be another one of your 'mistakes' that you make."   
  
Crying inside, Sora reached for his hand, but he shook her away. "Ken please, I really didn't mean it that way!" Ken shook his head and walked away.   
  
Sora walked to the table where Mimi and Matt were sitting and chatting. She ordered a strong drink and downed it in seconds.   
  
"Sora, are you ok?" Mimi knew that Sora wasn't a big drinker, and rarely ever had a drink that strong.   
  
"I'm going home. This was a really shitty night to be blunt." Matt and Mimi looked at one another, wondering how long it would take for her drinks to settle into her system.   
  
"Sora? Maybe you should let Matt drive you home tonight." Sora sighed in frustration, then held out her car keys.   
  
"Fine. Geez, people won't even let me drive my own goddamn car. Let's go please." Matt got up and the two walked out, Sora leaning on Matt.   
  
He helped her into her car and then drove, the alcohol finally setting into his system as well. He began to drive recklessly, then drove into Sora's apartment parking lot. She had been sitting and staring at him, remember a long while ago, when the two had been together. She remembered the painful relationship, and how the breakup went, and how  
much she was devastated when he started to date Mimi. Sure the two weren't serious yet, but Sora still hurt sometimes at night when she woke up crying for him.   
  
Matt turned off the car and sighed. "Sora, what ever happened to us?"   
His question caught her off guard, and she started to get out of the car.   
  
"It's nothing, Matt Ishida. I'm tired, let me go to my apartment please." Matt got out and handed her the car keys. His hand lingered on hers a moment longer than necessary and she sighed.   
  
"Matt, we're both drunk and confused. Please stop, before doing something we'll both regret." Matt sighed and looked at her again. "Can I at least come upstairs to call a cab?" Sora sighed deeply and then gave in. "I guess so. Come on."   
  
The two walked upstairs and took the elevator to her floor. They stepped in front of her steps and Sora unlocked her door.   
  
"Hey, you've changed the place since the last time I was here. I like it." Sora smiled and grabbed herself a glass of water.   
  
"Well, I thought the whole blue and black thing was lame on its own, so I added a bit of animal print and silver and voila, a hype room." Sora gestured at the large room, with silver shelves and animal print cushions on the dark blue couches.  
  
Matt nodded appreciatively then went over to the phone and called a cab. "It will take at least an hour to get here. They're really busy tonight. Mind if I just hang out and watch TV or something?" Sora shrugged and went to go and change into her pyjamas.   
  
When she came out, Matt was sprawled on her couch, watching a late night TV show. She had put on a pair of blue underwear-shorts and a blue tank top. "Hey, I got you that for your birthday last year, remember?" Sora looked down, remembering how excited she had been.   
"Sora, what happened with us?" Matt's pained blue eyes burned into hers, searching for answers.  
  
Sora fiddled wih an invisible string on her pyjamas and looked up at him. "Matt, we're two different people. You live life on the  
edge. I.....so do I..but you and I had too many differences. You made the decision, remember?"   
  
Matt sighed and looked down. She smiled and he looked up, smiling back.   
"But, you're still a very good friend to me. I hope that's how it will  
stay." Matt nodded and Sora placed her head on his lap and her stroked her hair.   
  
She felt herself beginning to fall into a peaceful reverie of half-awakeness. Forgetting all time and space, she looked up at Matt and saw he was under the same spell.   
  
"Sora, I've missed loving you. I know we'll never be together again, but give me this one night to love you once more." Sora started to shake her head, and replied.   
  
"One night will turn into another and another. WE can't do this.  
Not to Mimi." Matt sighed and looked out a window.   
  
He heard a beep and looked to see a taxi at the ground level. "Well,  
that's my ride. Have a good night Sora."   
  
But Sora was already asleep.  
  
~~~~fin.  
  
  
OH GEEZ! What a cliffhanger!!! ..... Well......not really..  
What about Sora and Ken? Is Matt still in love with Sora? What about Mimi? What will happen in class with Kari and T.K.?  
Are Tai and Yolei gonna hook up?   
OH THE SOAP OPERA CLIFFHANGERS!!! WOO!  
welp....i expect to have another part to come out soon. Feel free to r&r!! 


	2. Chapter 2

This is How You Remind Me~~~~ chapter 2  
  
A/N: I thought it was time to start on the second half. I was on the set of Queer as Folk on December 5th, 2001. I met Randy Harrison *justin*, Gale Harold *brian*, Peter Paige *emmett*, Scott Lowell *ted*, Michelle Clunie *melanie*, Thea Gill *lindsay*, Sharon Gless *debbie*, Jack Weatherall *Vic*, and Hal Sparks *Michael*. The entire cast were complete dolls, and i have polaroids of myself and Michelle Clunie and Thea Gill which i will posting on a site dedicated to Queer as Folk.   
We were filming a very special upcoming occasion in season two!!! IT WAS GREAT! Randy Harrison and I kept sneaking out to the food truck whenever it was time to change camera angles and making coffees. He makes a killer caffeine quickie!! i hope that they come back to oshawa soon again! We love you guys! Oh, Gale Harold makes a disgusting protein shake. *shudder* i had to make him like 3. but it was worth it coz he is god's gift to the world. I will have recipies on my site for many of the drinks and such that I had to make all day. I LOVE GALE HAROLD AND PETER PAIGE AND RANDY HARRISON AND SCOTT LOWELL AND THEA GILL AND MICHELLE CLUNIE AND SHARON GLESS AND HAL SPARKS!! Gale Harold is my dreamboat! Let me tell you guys and girls, he is just as good looking in person! lol, i swear he is.  
  
Update from last chapter:::  
Justin has come out of his coma, it has been a year and he is now in university as an art major. Brian still believes that he is somehow to blame for Justin's accident, and now feels remorse for the boy. He loves him, but will not admit it to anyone, including himself. Justin still loves Brian, but he will not be with him until he learns to accept what happened and that he still loves him. Brian has asked Justin to come to Babylon, and now he's trying to make the decision.  
  
Chapter Two - Everywhere.  
  
~~~~Turn it out so I can see. The part of you that's drifting over me. When I wake you're, you're never there. And when I sleep you're, you're everywhere. You're everywhere.~~~~  
  
Justin was cleaning up at two in the morning, wondering what to do. Brian's words drifted through his mind, and he smiled at the memory of how for once, the infamous self-confident Brian Kinney, was unsure of himself.  
  
Pulling down some coffee cups, he refilled the dishwasher and turned it on, turning up the radio and dancing around to the slow sultry beat of a song known as "Rock The Boat". He took no notice as someone walked in and sat down.   
  
"Hello, can I help youuu?" Justin sang out as he walked around and stopped. "Michael! What are you doing here?"   
  
A small smile came across Michael's face as he saw the genuine suprise on Justin's face. 'Probably was expecting Brian,' Mikey thought to himself as he picked up a cloth and helped Justin wash off the counters. "Well, I was in the area, and decided to stop in. Oh and also to mention that tomorrow night at Brian's loft, we're having a party. You are welcome to come."  
  
Justin rinsed off the rag and threw it in the wash pile, and pulled off his apron. He pulled out a bag that he had Daphne drop off while he was on break, containing clothes that he could wear to Babylon. He was still playing with the idea of going, going over the possibilities in his mind. He sat down at a table with Mikey and put the bag on the table.   
  
"Here is a bag. It has clothes in it for Babylon. Brian asked if I was going. Should I go Michael? I don't want to go there and see something that will make things worse." Justin's light blue eyes looked into Michael's dark brown ones, searching for an answer that couldn't be had.  
  
"Justin, do what you want. I really can't help you. But Brian loves you. We all have seen that within the past year. He just doesn't seem to be able to let his guard down to be able to let it all out. He is convinced that he has to be this macho, unfeeling guy that doesn't care about anyone but himself. But I know that that's all an act. He cares about you."  
  
Michael sat and looked at Justin, for once, feeling relaxed and calm around him. Justin was a pretty good guy, and the fact that he never strayed from Brian made him have respect for him. Justin was still an innocent guy, unsure of himself, trying to be a proud person, like Emmett. Michael knew that Justin looked up to Emmett almost as much as Brian. Emmett was a diva, a queen in the eyes of every gay male in Philidelphia. He was loud and proud, which Justin wished he could be.  
  
Exasperated, Justin pulled out some clothes and ran into the bathroom. Michael sat and his cellphone rang.   
  
"Hello?" His voice sounded strong as always as he watched Justin come out of the bathroom and throw his other clothes into the bag.   
  
"Mikey. Where are you? You're supposed to be here with me at Babylon." Brian's plaintive voice was heard loud and clear to Justin as he zipped up his bag and looked over at Michael in anticipation and sat down.  
  
"Uhm, hey Brian. I'm on my way. I just stopped into the diner to see if Justin needed help. But he didn't so we're on our way." Mikey looked over at Justin, his brows knitted into his normal "thinking" face. Justin smiled and pulled out his keys and stood up.  
  
"Justin's coming? Alright. I'll see you later." Brian hung up and looked out onto the dance floor, remembering the first time he saw Justin at Babylon.   
  
It was when he still found Justin as an extremely hot, but annoying fuck that wouldn't go away. He was dancing with three other guys, when the light-haired angel walked onto the floor, wearing a pair of jeans and no shirt. He danced near them, unsurely at first, then he began to move more and more. The three men that had once been dancing with Brian, moved over to Justin and began to dance on him. Brian understood what Justin was doing and smiled, as he pushed the other two men away and wrapped his arms around him. That night, it all began. The nights that were filled with nights of Justin and non-stop love. Justin tried for so long to get Brian to love him. And he was unsure himself when the change began, but he began to crave his company. The night at the King of Babylon contest was a night where Brian realized how manipulative Justin could be. Justin was the only other guy who play his game, and actually succeed. He remembered that after Justin won the title as King of Babylon, he stole away the guy that Brian had been eyeing all night and fucked him in the backroom. The next day at the diner, Brian had asked where the guy was, and what Justin had said. With a smile that no one else would understand except the two of them, Justin answered "I told him he'd see me in his dreams."   
  
~~~Just tell me how I got this far. Tell why you're here and who you are. Coz everytime I look, you're never there. And everytime I sleep, you're always there~~~  
  
Justin followed Mikey in his car, his palms sweaty, his breath quick and nervous. 'Am I doing the right thing?' he wondered to himself as he parked in the familiar area.  
  
Mikey and Justin walked across the street as many other men looked at the two good looking people walking. The large, burly security smiled at Justin and Mikey, stamping their hands and letting them walk in. The large blast of techno music was like a dinner bell for a hungry pack of dogs. The music was blasting, the bodies were pumping, and Justin had never felt so alive. His walked over to the bar and ordered a drink, looking at himself in his tight black t-shirt and black pleather pants. As he sipped, he looked around, seeing many familiar faces. One of which was staring straight at him. Brian.   
  
Walking over, Brian could only see Justin. He had come, so did that mean that he still cared about him, even after what happened? Brian knew that Justin still cared, but it was so hard to push the horrific sight out of his mind. His Justin, lying in a pool of blood, unconscious and slowly dying. Brian had never felt so scared in his life. But it had all worked out. Justin recovered fully, that homophobic asshole was sent to jail, and Brian was still there.   
  
Justin felt his breath quicken as Brian came over, and stood next to him. He looked up into the familiar brown-green eyes that he loved, and felt himself soften. He loved him.  
  
Brian looked into Justin's loving eyes, as the familiar feeling swept over him. He stroked Justin's cheek and just looked at him, love and warmth radiating from the younger man's eyes.  
  
"Wanna go for a walk?" Brian asked, as Justin's eyes began to water. The two walked out of Babylon, and into Brian's truck, not saying a word. They drove in silence, the sound of one's breath comforting the other. In Brian's loft they went, and Brian sat down at the bar as Justin stood.   
  
"Justin, come here. Let me look at you in the light." Brian asked as Justin walked into the bar area, where candles were lit all over the loft.   
  
"Brian....." Justin's voice said hoarsely as he walked over, his eyes misting over. He tried to look away and Brian came to him. As he always did.  
  
The familiar strong arms wrapped around his arms, and he sobbed. Cried like he had never cried before. All of the pain, the hurt and the waiting, and with fervor, he kissed Brian.   
  
Never before had his lips felt so sweet, mixed with his salty tears. Brian held him tightly.   
  
Justin pulled away, his eyes searching Brian's. "Brian..." was all he needed to say. Brian smiled, then turned serious as he pulled him into the bedroom. "Justin Taylor, I have never felt this way about anyone. I never thought I could feel this way about anyone. But you have shown me something I have never experienced. Love. And for that, I love you." Brian couldn't believe what he had just heard himself say, and he looked down at Justin in his own disbelief. But the look on Justin's face was all worth it. He looked like a little boy at Christmas time.  
  
"Brian, I have waited almost two years for those words to come out of your mouth. Ever since the first day I met you, I loved you. You.....you're everything to me. I feel incomplete whenever you're not around. You make me whole." Justin felt breathless, as he looked into Brian's intense eyes.  
  
~~~Coz you're everywhere to me, and when I close my eyes it's you I see. You're everything I know that makes me believe, I'm not alone. I'm not alone.~~~  
  
Brian stood over in his room, and Justin looked at him in curiosity as he went over to his stereo and turned on a song. It was the song that he and Brian danced to at prom. Brian pulled Justin against him and began to dance throughout the loft, just like that night they had danced, not caring about what anyone else thought. The only saw what their hearts held before them. Love for one another so pure, it couldn't be wrong.   
  
"Brian, do you understand that night?" Justin's voice quietly cut into the quiet of the dance.   
  
Brian pulled away and looked at Justin, then turned down the music. "Justin, this is how I see it. We danced that night. We cajoled our screaming homosexuality in front of your uptight ass school. Then because of me, you were injured by a homophobic asshole."  
  
Justin shook his head and pulled further away. "Brian. That's not it. Chris was always bitter to me. That night was just a coincidence. It was bound to happen, he probably would have done it whether you were there or not. Why can't you let it go?"  
  
Brian sighed and looked at him, his guard beginning to rise. It was taking a lot not to just snap on him and tell him to get out and pretend the night had never happened. But this was Justin, and he loved this boy. Not a boy, a man. He couldn't do that, but he couldn't stop blaming himself.  
  
Justin picked up his coat and sighed, not wanting to do this, but all the same, knowing it was best. He couldn't handle it anymore. He stepped up to the door as Brian watched his moves like a hawk. He wasn't going to beg anymore.  
  
"Brian, I can't do this anymore. I have tried time and again to make you understand and you don't. If you can see this, then maybe things are better off with us apart. I'm not going to come back here."  
  
Justin tried to keep his voice steady, even though tears dripped down his face. Brian simply stared, then shrugged and walked away, turning before Justin could see him cry.  
  
Justin walked back to Babylon and got into his car. Instead of driving home to Daphne's house, he drove around the city, trying to release his frustration. His cellphone was ringing and he turned it off, not wanting to talk to anyone. Around 7:00 a.m., he drove to Lindsay and Melanie's house, knocking on the door.   
  
Lindsay answered the door and gasped. "Justin! What's wrong? Come in!" Justin walked in and sat down on the couch, still trying to piece his mind together.   
  
Melanie came into the room in her pyjamas, yawning loudly. "Who the fuck was...oh, hi Justin. Jesus Christ you look like shit. Want a coffee?"   
  
Justin nodded and Lindsay sat down next to him, looking at his bloodshot eyes, guessing he hadn't slept all night, and knowing the reason, sighed. It was always Brian. He never knew how to treat Justin.  
  
"Here Sunshine. Drink up. Then, tell us what brings you here at seven in the morning." Melanie smiled and sat down next to Lindsay on the couch, wrapping her arms around the other's waist. Justin drank the coffee, then sighed and put down the mug.  
  
"Brian and I are finished. I ended it....earlier I guess. We're done and through. He can't accept that the accident wasn't his fault, and I can't deal with him feeling guilty around me all the time. And just earlier, he finally told me....that.. he..." Justin's voice broke on the last words and he began to cry.   
  
Lindsay and Melanie looked at one another, and Melanie sighed, unwrapping her arms from Lindsay's waist and moving them to around Justin. Lindsay wiped his face and kissed his forehead.  
  
"He said he loved you sweety?" Lindsay asked sympathetically, stroking his hair lightly.   
  
Justin sniffled and nodded, then took a deep breath. "But, I ended it. I should have a long time ago. Listen, tonight there's a party at Brian's loft for his 31'st birthday. You guys should go. I think I'll go back to the school and do something. I just can't stay here right now." Lindsay nodded and Melanie stood up, then went upstairs, anger filling her.   
  
Justin left their house around 8:00 am and got back to Daphne's, collapsing next to her on the couch that was pulled out in the livingroom. Around 4:00 that afternoon, he finally awoke, staring groggily around him. There was a note next to him from Daphne telling him that she was gone out shopping and she'd be home later on that night. Her cellphone was on and he could call her if he needed her.  
  
He went into his room and began packing his things, not wanting to think of that night. It was like a fresh wound, still festering and bleeding. He came across the scarf, and threw it on the floor, then sat on the bed.   
  
"Brian....why?" He silently asked himself as tears rolled off his face.   
  
He remembered when Brian was going to take the job in New York, and it was the first time the he had outwardly told Brian that he loved him. It was scary, but he knew that Brian wouldn't turn him away. They had been around one another too long. Instead, Brian held him tightly and let Justin cry on him.  
  
And that's what he had done the night before. He had comforted Justin when he had needed him. And nothing had felt sweeter than Brian's embrace. What was he doing? He still loved Brian, whether Brian knew it or not.  
  
It was then that it hit him. Brian would never get over the accident without Justin's help and love. He had been doing this all wrong. Brian only blamed himself more and more everytime they pushed each other away. Brian pushing him away because he couldn't admit he was in love, and Justin because Brian wouldn't get over the accident. He was doing it all wrong. It was his fault. Now he needed Brian back. But would Brian take him back after last night?  
  
~fin  
  
A/N: BWAHAHAHAHA what will happen? Will he go to Brian? Will he go back to the University? WHAT WILL HAPPEN?!?!?! PLEASE R/R!!! 


	3. Chapter 3

~~~This is How You Remind Me~~~  
  
A/N: I just finished chapter two and now I'm all revvvvvvved to finish it in this chapter. I don't know though, it might be REALLY long! It's hard to write. *sniffles* it's hard to be so good at what I do!! lol no I'm not full of myself. I swear. Well, I dedicate this story to my wonderful friends at Temple Street Productions and the cast of Queer as Folk! Also, to Mimi, my dear friend in British Columbia. I miss ya babe! See ya SOON!!! Oh, BTW, I was just reading a review that I had from chapter Two. I made s light mistake and I do this all of the time. They Live In Pittsburg. Not philadelphia!!!! So everytime you see philadelphia, please replace it in your mind with PITTSBURG!!! Thank you to the person who corrected me :)  
  
Chapter 3- The Last Flight Out  
  
"Hey Daph, it's Justin. I was just calling to say that there's a party at Brian's tonight for his 31st birthday, so get some clothes on and come on over! That's where I'll be."   
  
Justin turned off his cellphone and looked upstairs to Brian's window, and he could see the party in full gear. There were lights flashing and people dancing. Brian Kinney knew how to pull off a party, that was for damn sure.   
  
Looking at himself, Justin sighed and locked the door in his car and walked to the elevator in the building. He was wearing a black coat, underneath was a light blue collared shirt that was half open on top and bottom, with only about four buttons done up in the middle, and a pair of pinstripe pants. His hair was gelled and he looked hot. But that was always how he looked.  
  
When he got to Brian's floor, the door was open to his loft, with lights and sparkles all around. Justin walked in and put down his bag and car keys. Michael was the first one to notice him, and nudged Emmett, who whispered something in his ear. Michael ran over and turned Justin the other way, leading to the kitchen area.   
  
"Hey Justin! Glad you come, even after last night. Yes, we got it out of Melanie and Lindsay, not Brian. Want a drink?" Michael sounded jumpy and nervous, so Justin shot him a sidelong glance.  
  
"What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this Michael?" Justin was feeling apprehensive, but before Michael could reply, the answer showed itself.   
  
Brian, drunk and half dressed came out of his bedroom, a younger, attractive man attached to one part of him. He kissed him passionately, then finally caught sight of Justin.   
  
"Justin? What the fuck are you doing here?" Brian asked, semi-angry, semi-suprised to see the golden angel in his apartment, after last night he said that he wouldn't return.   
  
But now the only thing on Justin's face was hurt, shock, and most of all, anger. He turned on his heel and then shook his head, his shoulders shaking. But he was laughing, not crying.  
  
"He's finally done it. Brian Kinney has drove Justin absoloutely crazy." Emmett whispered to Ted and looked on in interest.   
  
The room was silent, the music was turned off, and the two faced one another. Justin shook his head and sighed. Brian looked at Justin, the booze slowly wearing off.  
  
"Brian Kinney, you are one fucked up individual. I came over here to tell you I was wrong, that I did need you and I was willing to help you get over what happened so we could be together. But apparently you don't need me to help you get over anything. God, I was so fucking stupid!"  
  
Justin was angry for the first time. He had never gotten angry at Brian. He had always had so much respect and love for him. Even after all of the times that Brian had hurt him, had gone home with other men and not him, after he had told him so many times that he meant nothing to him. Even in those times he never got mad once. But this was the last straw. Brian had blew it.   
  
Melanie and Lindsay were in the background, shaking their heads, and Justin saw them. He sighed at Brian, picked up his bag and pulled out the scarf and a sketch of Brian that he drew a long time ago. He was sleeping in the picture, naked. Justin threw them in his face, and turned again to pick up his car keys.   
  
"Here! Take these back! THEY MEAN NOTHING TO ME! LIKE WHAT I MEAN TO YOU!" Justin cried as fresh tears ran down his face.  
  
Brian turned his back and walked into his room, shutting the door. But Justin followed, yelling more.   
  
"What? Are you going to hide again? Hide from your responsibilities? LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO? God Brian, you're 31 FOR FUCK'S SAKE!! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP?"  
  
Justin was out of control now, and everyone watched in awe as he told off Brian. Brian Kinney, who never took any shit from anyone. Brian Kinney, who never had problems with any males.  
  
Finally he came out of his room, fully dressed and somber looking. He shot a look at Justin and walked over to the young man from earlier, draped his arm around his shoulder and looked over at Justin.   
  
"You're sad. Very sad Justin. Why don't you get your pathetic ass out of my loft. I don't need you. I never did. I fucking HATE you. GET OUT!" Brian roared, throwing out his arm at the door.   
  
Justin put on his bag and grabbed his car keys, then left, slamming the door behind him. Brian turned back to the man and began kissing him, but the man pushed him away. Lindsay and Melanie walked over and Lindsay slapped Brian across the face.   
  
"You're so fucking pathetic, not Justin. I hope you live a sad, lonely life Brian Kinney, because that's all you deserve." Melanie spat, and Lindsay stepped forward.  
  
"Brian, how do you live with yourself everyday?" Lindsay looked so disappointed in him, and the two walked out.  
  
Emmett and Ted walked over and patted him on the shoulder. Brian looked into their faces and saw disappointment in their eyes as well.  
  
"Brian, that was so not kosher. Justin is the one for you. You don't deserve him." Emmett said quietly, shaking his head as he picked up his big fuzzy red coat. Ted walked over and Brian cut him off before he could talk.  
  
"I don't need a pep-talk from you too. Like you know what to say, grandpa." But Ted shook his head and just picked up his coat and left with Emmett.  
  
Slowly, all of the guests left, disgusted with Brian's act. Only the men who were interested in his body stuck around. But Brian didn't feel like fucking. Not after the realization of what he had done sunk in. He kicked everyone out and began to pace around, anger and frustration filling him. He pulled out some of what he liked to call his "trail-mix" and snorted it, trying to calm down. But this only caused him to be more frenzied, almost wild. He snorted more and more, then finally sat down as the room began to spin. He had done it this time. Too much. He began shaking, and his body fell to floor as he went into convulsions.  
  
The door opened as Justin walked in, or actually, stormed in and grabbed his coat. "Brian, I'm only here to get my coat. Goodb-" His words were cut short as he saw Brian laying on the floor in convulsions.   
  
"Brian? Brian!! BRIAN! OH MY GOD! SOMEBODY HELP!" Justin went into hysterics and grabbed the phone to call 911. "Hello? Yes! I need an ambulance right now! My ....uhm, partner has overdosed and needs help fast!" Justin was crying and breathing heavily as he gave them the address. He sat Brian up and tried to wake him.   
  
2 HOURS LATER~~~~~~  
  
"Are you Justin Taylor?" A doctor's voice drifted into Justin's sleep and he sat up, grinding the sleep out of his eyes with his fists. He looked into the solemn eyes of a middle-aged male doctor with a bald spot on the top of his head.  
  
"Yes that's me. Are you Dr. Harold?" Justin searched his expression for information, anything. But it was like trying to look through a black foggy night.   
  
The doctor nodded and sat down with Justin, and sighed. "Your friend is in very critical condition. He overdosed on a mixture we know as "Trailmix." It's very potent, and we've had many death counts with this. However, we managed to pump his stomach of most of it. But a lot of it is in his bloodstream. We need a blood donation so that we can extract as much of the drug as possible. But he is bloodtype O and we are somewhat low on it. What is your bloodtype Justin?"   
  
Justin understood that Brian's life lay in his hands. He would do anything for Brian, even give his life for him. Brian, although not too bright wen it came to love, was everything to him. Even after what happened that night, he still loved him. Brian was Brian. He knew something like that would happen. Right now he was willing to forgive anything and forget everything as long as Brian would be okay. Justin pulled up his sleeves and nodded.   
  
"I'm type O. Where do I go doc?" Justin looked around the empty waiting room and pulled out his phone. "Do you mind if I call a few friends as well? They're all close friends with Brian, and I think that they should be here."  
  
The doctor nodded and then pointed towards Brian's room. "Go in there as soon as you're done. We're going to hook a direct IV from your arm to his."  
  
Justin dialed Michael first, and told him. Michael nearly went into hysterics over the phone and was already dressed and ready to leave by the time they got off of the phone. Justin then called Emmett, Ted, Lindsay and Melanie, and Daphne. He put his phone away and went into the room. The doctors gave him a sleep-inducing drug and then soon after, Justin was asleep as they hooked up the IV.  
  
"What do you think Doc? Is this a hopeful case?" A nurse asked the doctor when they were checking the IV an hour later. The doctor shook his head and sighed, sitting down inbetween the beds. "The drug that I gave the younger one will keep him knocked out for about a day and a half. We'll know by the time he wakes up. The older one, I assume is his brother or something, is a tougher case. He has to be monitored at all times. Right now he's slightly comatose. It's going to be a long night."  
  
A DAY AND A HALF LATER~~~~~  
  
"Hey sleeping beauty, wake up. It's Daphne, Justin can ya hear me?" A voice cut through Justin's groggy mind he looked up to see Daphne, Emmett, Ted, Mikey, Debbie and Vic.   
  
"Hey guys, what are you doing here? What time is it?" Justin felt so disoriented and unclear. Then he remembered what happened that night and looked next to him. Brian was sitting up in his bed drinking a shake and watching T.V. on a tiny television set. They still had the IV set up, and Justin was weakened from the loss of blood.  
  
"What time is it? It's Monday. It's uhhh....4:30 in the afternoon. You've been sleeping for almost two days. That's what I call a beauty rest." Emmett joked as he rubbed Justin's forehead. Debbie hugged Justin and smiled. "Hey Sunshine. How are ya feeling?"   
  
Justin looked over at Brian, not sure of what to say. Everyone saw what he was looking at and coughed. "Well, um, I gotta go check on the diner, kay Sunshine? Bye Brian, when I come back, I'll bring you boys some lemonbars. Vic, you coming?" Vic nodded and left with Debbie.   
  
Daphne smiled and hugged Justin tightly, and he hugged her back. "I'm gonna go home and get some sleep, so I'll be back later on tonight. Do you want anything? Either of you?" Justin shook his head and Brian looked over. "Yes, could I get a fillet mignon from the hospital cafeteria?" Daphne smirked and threw a teddybear she had brought for him at him. He smiled and kissed it.  
  
Michael leaned and kissed Brian on the cheek and ruffled his hair. "I'll be back later on tonight, so try to stay out of trouble until then." Brian grinned and sighed. "Okay mother." Michael leaned and kissed Justin on the forehead. "Thank you." He whispered, so no one heard except the two of them. Justin smiled and hugged him.  
  
Emmett and Ted a quiet exit, simply waving, and Emmett blew them both a kiss. Justin laughed and closed his eyes and laid back.  
  
A movement on his bed caused him to open his eyes and look. Brian was sitting on the side of his bed, looking down at him. "Hey, why did you do it?" Brian asked, looking at Justin strangely.  
  
He didn't understand. He remembered that he had called Justin pathetic, kicked him out of his house and denounced his love for him. But here was Justin, practically giving his life so he could live. He didn't deserve him, Emmett was right.  
  
But Justin simply smiled up at him and touched his face. Brian leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. Justin held one of Brian's hands and sighed, sitting up.  
  
"When I came back to your apartment last night to get my coat, and I saw you on the floor like that, I thought I was the one dying, not you. I had to do anything I could to save you. You don't get it Brian. I love you. I would give my life for you."  
  
Justin's words touched him, and he laid down next to him, gathering him in his arms. Justin inhaled the smell of Brian and exhaled contentedly.   
  
"I love you too Justin." That was Brian's apology. The only thing close to an apology that Justin would get out of him. And it was enough.  
  
The two laid together, not saying a word, afraid to spoil the moment. Again.  
  
~~~FINITO.  
  
A/N: SO?!?!? How was it? Should I make an epilogue? Mabye a prologue too? I CAN'T STOP WRITING!!!! hehehe I think this was good, and I just kind of wanted to end it. I hate stories that get TOO dragged out. I think this was good. Tell me what ya think of it!! R/R PLEASE! I LOVE REVIEWS! this was a lot shorter than i thought it would be.... 


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